


kill my mind

by shuri_is_my_queen



Series: Alex and Carrie are besties and you can’t change my mind. [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Politics, alex and carrie are best friends, alex is a great friend, and i love her for that, carrie is trying, this is really just a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27229342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuri_is_my_queen/pseuds/shuri_is_my_queen
Summary: Basically just a vent fic
Relationships: Alex & Carrie Wilson
Series: Alex and Carrie are besties and you can’t change my mind. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987990
Comments: 2
Kudos: 73





	kill my mind

**Author's Note:**

> tw/ cw: ED not otherwise specified, political talk, hints of depression
> 
> i wrote this last night and i may have cried hope you enjoy <3

He’s not exactly sure when it happened, but Alex and Carrie became as thick as thieves faster than anyone could imagine. 

He almost had a panic attack when he accidentally came out to Carrie, but she was quick to reassure him that it didn’t change anything between the two of them. About a week later she told him she was bi.

* * *

It wasn’t uncommon for Alex to just poof over to Carrie’s whenever he wanted to. They enjoyed each other’s company, and while he wouldn’t say anything outright, Alex was beyond happy to see Carrie getting better and learning to love herself. He liked to think that he at least helped her in some small way. 

Alex had learned to expect many different versions of Carrie when he arrived. 

There’s happy Carrie. This is becoming more and more frequent, much to Alex’s delight. The girl is chatty and giggly, bouncing off the walls more often than not. 

There’s angry Carrie. Most often after an argument with Bo- Trevor. She spends most of those days venting. 

There’s frustrated Carrie. Common after a bad dance practice or when she doesn’t understand her homework. Alex is usually able to help with it. 

There’s self-conscious Carrie. These days aren’t fun. The two of them spend them watching movies that Alex needs to catch up on because the girl is too lost in her self-hatred to focus on much else. 

There’s sick Carrie. This one only happened once, but most of the day was spent holding back the poor girl’s hair as she vomited and making sure she stayed hydrated and as comfortable as possible. 

There’s sad Carrie. These days are full of tears, cuddles, and comforting words. 

Alex likes to think that he’s prepared for any mood that Carrie might be in. And for the most part he is. But what he wasn’t expecting on a dreary October night was screams and sobs coming from Carrie’s room followed by a loud thud. He immediately assumes the worst, poofing into her room quickly. 

What he sees breaks his heart, Carrie is curled up in a corner of her room crying hard. Her tears cause the mascara she’s wearing to run down her face in dark streaks. Alex eyes the phone that seems to have been thrown across the room in frustration. There’s a news article pulled up. 

**_Amy Coney Barrett Sworn in as Supreme Court Justice, Cementing Conservative Majority_ **

He decides to ask about that later. Right now his top priority is calming Carrie down and making sure she’s okay. 

“Hey, Care Bear.” He greets softly, crouching down by the crying girl. She looks up and Alex has to stop himself from gasping at the pained look in her eyes. He continues, “What’s going on? Anyone I need to haunt?” That last part makes the girl giggle. Small victories. 

Carrie sniffles and wipes her eyes with her sweatshirt sleeves. This only serves in smearing her makeup even more. “I dunno,” she looks down, “it’s just political stuff and while I’m having more good days, today was bad. Like really bad. Everything seems to be piling up all of a sudden and the political news just made me lose it. I know it’s probably stupid.” 

This makes Alex frown, “First of all, Care Bear, it’s not stupid. I know very well that if you’re already trying to hold yourself together, you can very easily be set off by the smallest things. Second, do you need to vent or be distracted from your mind? I’m okay with whatever.”

Carrie sighs which comes out as more of a choked sob, “I need to vent.” Alex nods gesturing for her to begin. 

“It’s just… I’m trying so hard to keep my grades up, but I can’t focus on anything. I don’t have any motivation. And I want to stop hating myself for eating, but every single time I make food or eat even a small snack, there’s this voice in my head that yells at me and convinces me that I’m worthless and ugly for eating more than I should. And my dad is so… my dad. Like he’s either not here ever or dictating everything I do. This morning he literally told me that he can’t make it to Dirty Candy’s performance on Saturday that I’ve worked so so hard on because he got the invitation to go to a free concert across town. Then proceeded to tell me that I should be working harder at practices and working out more because I look different. Like thanks dad. It’s not like I have an ED or anything. And the presidential election is so close and I’m so scared because most presidents that go for a second term get it. And I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle another 4 years of that Oompa Loompa in office. Amy Coney Barrett got elected into the Supreme Court and her policies will basically take away women’s rights. And same sex marriage is being discussed in the Supreme Court again and because it’s more conservative now, I have no doubt that it will be taken away. Five years. We’ve had five years and they want to take it away again. What is so wrong about me liking women?! And this one guy I’m kinda close to keeps trying to guilt trip me into dating him. And trying to push me away at the same time. I don’t want to stop talking to him, but it’s just so emotionally draining. I’m just so  _ tired _ .” Carrie breaks off with another choked sob. 

Alex feels his heart shatter. He pulls Carrie into a tight hug, his mind racing. Top on his mind is how he can get back at Bo- Trevor for saying that to Carrie. Next, how are people still so small minded 25 years later. He thought things were getting better. But it seems like the country is taking long steps backwards. He’s a ghost so this doesn’t affect him, but it’s still upsetting. And the guy she’s talking to? He sounds like an asshole. 

“Carrie, I’m going to always be here for you no matter what. I can help with homework, I’ll go to your performance, don’t listen to your father. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I have no idea what’s going to happen in the political world, but I promise you aren’t alone. There are so many people that love and support you and I know that one day you’ll be able to live in a world where no one makes a big deal out of your sexuality. And please don’t let that boy pressure you into doing anything you aren’t comfortable with. Your mental health should always come first. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but one day you’re going to be so happy and love the world.” 

Alex can feel Carrie smile into his shoulder and she hugs him tighter. “Thank you, Alex. You always know what to say. Now do you want to watch a movie? I got a little depressing there for a minute.” She ends with a small giggle. 

“Whatever you say, Care Bear! It’s your turn to choose.” 

“We’re watching The Avengers. It’s my favorite comfort movie that I haven’t shown you yet.” 

She stands up quickly and practically drags Alex to the den. Alex laughing behind her. 

Yeah, she’ll be okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> please leave kudos and comments! i love seeing what y’all think about my writing


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